Stan's World - Because I said so?

If you’re a parent, you may recall the first time your child used your own words against you. That’s the moment you knew just saying “Because I said so” would no longer get the response you wanted. From that day forward, you would have to use logic to get the preferred behavior from your children. (I’m aware I’ve omitted screaming, threats, bribery, and, in extreme cases, crying.) 

In our last newsletter, I wrote about the need to have intra-family meetings to discuss the finances of senior parents. I failed to mention that Pearl and I have never had one with our family, leading to me being called out by one of my children. “How can you tell your clients to do something you’ve never done with us?” Suffice it to say, it was game, set, match; she was right, and I was wrong. 

To correct my omission, I am putting together an information sheet that our family can use should anything unfortunate occur to Pearl and/or me. What am I including?

• A condensed version of our balance sheet detailing assets and liabilities (and a note about where a more detailed version is kept).

• Monthly income and spending. (It’s important for your children to know whether you’re running out of money. When parents run out of money, it can adversely impact their children.) 

• Information about our long-term care insurance policies. 

• Where to find relevant websites and passwords. (We use a password manager, which we routinely suggest to clients.)

• Where to find the QuickBooks ledger I maintain for our monthly expenses. 

• The names and contact information for our attorney, accountant, and financial advisor. (Yes, my list will include John’s name so my kids know that John will handle all Schwab-related activities and accounts and be able to offer advice on a myriad of other estate issues.) 

• The name and contact information of our primary physician.

• How much to feed Sully, our dog. (This is redundant since Rebecca and John own one of Sully’s litter mates. But if you have a pet, this should serve as a reminder not to forget to include information about the veterinarian you use, medications that pet is given, and any other appropriate information. After all, our pets are members of the family.)

Sadly, a call this month from a client’s family member reinforced the need for us and all seniors to have a family meeting and review this material - sooner rather than later. Getting incapacitated, or worse, is not usually done on a pre-determined schedule. When the unexpected occurs, it’s incumbent that a designated family member understands how to access cash, passwords, legal documents - including the all-important power of attorney - and healthcare proxies. Absent that information, it isn’t easy to help a person desperately in need of assistance. 

When a loved one falls ill, time shouldn’t be wasted on finding documents or checkbooks. When a loved one falls ill, all efforts should be spent on that person’s care. Diverting time to rummage through cabinets to find a checkbook to pay an important bill wastes precious time.